Loving you was never a choice.
I wish God had given me such mercy
to avoid the heartache falling for you has brought.
Maybe the timing wasn’t right.
Maybe I was never your type.
I looked for every reason it should work,
all while denying the truth that came from cold rejection.
Do I lack self-respect
for refusing to pull away?
Is it worth fighting for someone
knowing you may never be the one
they come home to at the end of the day?
It was never as simple as letting go.
That’s how I know it’s love,
as seeing it through is the only way home.
Now I’ve done all I can,
nearly destroying myself in the process.
It was a necessary downfall.
I was a fool to think you could be mine
with all the ways I was wasting my life.
From the ashes of death,
as a phoenix I will rise.
I still see the truth
while looking in your eyes.
With my love expressed,
I rest easier knowing I gave you my best.
I never ran away,
the choice is yours to be made.
Regardless of your way,
you have relit my inner flame.
I am fueled by the work required to be together,
as well as being the man for you that got away.
You unlocked both my angels and demons,
sitting together dormant ready to be unleashed.
Even if you’re just a painful lesson,
you will remain one of life’s biggest blessings.
They say you only fall in love once or twice.
I choose to embrace this and work to do what’s right.
I know life will continue
if you decide to tell me no.
I’ve always been a lone wolf.
I can return to what I know.
Romanticizing melancholy,
all blue skies will turn to gray.
Maybe I will pray,
ask God to carry me into a brighter day.
I can only work to prove you wrong
by being the best man I can be.
But together sounds sweeter
than a mission of self-improvement
aimed to make you question what could have been.
For as long as I can dream a life where we work out,
I’ll continue to gaze upon the stars with hope.
But I can only wait for so long.
Eventually I will be forced to fully let go.
Maybe that time is now.
Maybe we can dive together in the unknown.
For a moment,
let’s embrace the pause to hear the heart’s call.
Will you choose to put your hand in mine,
or run away one final time?
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romantic love is unbelievable! the eternal fight between heart, head and hormones (which has given us some very powerful works of art too).
beautiful text, thank you for sharing.